The Plan of All Plans
by French Toast Ninja
Summary: Naruto's heart was thundering in his chest as he wasn't expecting this to work. Surely, despite all outward appearances this weirdo masked guy had to know that this was just a ploy? Pretty much crack. One-Shot


The Plan of all Plans

Naruto stood, panting harshly as he wiped the thin trail of blood from his mouth. He winced as the simple movement pulled at a sore muscle. Bruises littered his body and his clothes had little tears but his opponent looked unscathed. This made him scowl fiercely. This continuous fighting and getting nowhere was seriously starting to grind his gears! And for what, so the masked nin could-

Wait a second. He _was_ never told of what the crazy's plan was.

"Hey, weirdo!" Naruto shouted.

"Tobi is a good boy!"

"Whatever! I have a question! Why the hell are you trying to get all the bijuu?"

"Tobi wants to get the bijuu so he can create Jubi-"

"The fuck is that?!"

"A beast with ten tails now let Tobi finish." Here he cleared his throat. "Tobi shall create the Jubi and with the Jubi, Tobi shall become a jinchuriki and use the Mangekyo Sharingan to cast the world in an Infinite Tsukuyomi using the moon!" He began to laugh evilly now.

"Why?"

"Why?" Tobi echoed. "So everyone can be happy! No wars and Tobi can be with his teammates!"

"You never told me who your teammates were..." Naruto trailed off with what he hoped was an interested look. Tobi seemed to like talking about this, which was dumb in his opinion. Why did villains like to go into detail how they were going to rule the world and kill you while they were at it? Why not just do their job? But, hey, it made _his _job of surviving (and maybe coming up with a plan) that much easier.

"Tobi knows you know Kakashi. But Tobi had another teammate. Her name was Rin." His head tilted down and his tone became sad. "She died," he suddenly brightened, "but that's okay! Tobi is going to make it all better when Tobi becomes a jinchuriki and then Team 7 can be together!"

Naruto blinked owlishly at him and for once decided not to say the first thing that came to his mind (which was: "What the fuck is wrong with you?! That's a stupid plan!") Instead, he came up with the most genius IDEA ever!

"Tobi, I think it's time I tell you something important! A secret so secret no one knows!" Naruto said softly, looking around as if he were making sure they were alone.

"Tobi wants to know!"

"Your teammate, Rin...I've seen her." Naruto was making a huge gamble and was hoping he wouldn't get killed.

"What?!"

"Shh." Naruto hissed. "Yea but she's a ghost. Scared the shit out of me at first! She has brown hair and purple markings on her cheeks, right?"

Tobi nodded so fast that it looked like he might break his neck.

"Yea, she says not to go through with the plan."

"Tobi can't do that."

"She says yes you can. She says she's been waiting for you for a long time. Waiting for you to join her. She's sorry she never got to tell you her feelings."

"R-Really?"

Naruto smiled encouragingly (he hoped) and nodded softly once. "She said that though she was mad in the beginning she understands that you were just doing this for her."

"Tobi was!"

"She also said," here Naruto dredged some repressed memories of Icha Icha to bring a horribly splotchy red look to his face, "that if you join her, she will, uh, show you how much she cares for you. If you know what I mean."

"Seriously?!" Tobi squeaked in a horribly high pitched voice.

"Yea..."

Naruto's heart was thundering in his chest as he wasn't expecting this to work. Surely, despite all outward appearances this weirdo masked guy _had _to know that this was just a ploy?

Naruto had to stop his jaw from dropping when the black haired man asked to be killed.

"Come again?" Naruto asked.

"Kill me. I can't keep her waiting! She _needs _me!"

The blonde-haired jinchuriki blinked in disbelief. There was no way in the seven layers of hell that he had met someone who was more gullible than him! (though he had admitted the fact was a secret he was taking the grave! Believe it!)

"Seriously?"

"Tobi is very serious."

Though Naruto didn't really want to have to kill him himself, he had to remind himself that it was for the greater good. It would be one less obstacle in stopping the Akatsuki. Still, he didn't like killing people...

He charged his number two signature attack before running at his enemy.

"Rasengan!"

He thrust the ball of swirling chakra through the man's chest, where his heart was, and killing him instantly. With a grimace, he yanked his arm out and watched with a bit of sadness as the lifeless body fell to the ground. Not really knowing what to do, he grabbed the cooling body and headed off to find Kakashi-sensei.

He would know what to do.

0123

Somewhere, a certain old Uchiha was rolling in his grave.


End file.
